Unity and Infighting – How to Overcome the “Men vs Women” Attitude

The concept of “Gender war” represents a terrible mindset for people to be in. Many people today, both men and women, have an us against them attitude, rather than a united us and them attitude.

Many women today feel that they have certain disadvantages in our society compared to men. For example, they may have the impression that they have fewer job opportunities or lower salaries compared to those of men, or that they might be treated differently because they are women. Some of them might also have issues with the idea that they may be expected to stay at home to raise a family and so on.

Men also tend to sense that they are treated badly and that they experience certain disadvantages in various aspects of life. On one hand they are told that they discriminate against others  and that they are unfairly privileged whilst at the same time women, and other groups of people, are being prioritised in terms of new job opportunities and other related benefits through affirmative action laws. After all, when people talk about “increasing diversity in the work force”, they are not talk about hiring White, heterosexual males.

Men are also typically expected to be the household provider, even though women nowadays are, more often than not, capable of providing for themselves. At the same time, men are demonised by feminists if they fulfil that role. This contradiction tends to leave many men feeling frustrated.

The fact that there are some conflicts between men and women should not be ignored, however it is important to keep in mind that differences between men and women have always existed.

There have always been advantages and disadvantages for both men and women, even though these might have expressed themselves in different ways and in different forms throughout time depending on various circumstances and contexts. For example, it has always been expected of men to go out to war and protect their families and homelands, or to work in dangerous coal mines in order to feed their families. This has hardly been a “male privilege” that has been unfair to women. Men who fought to their deaths for their countries and families would die happily and with honour if their sacrifice was not in vain. Likewise, women who had a lot of responsibilities at home would happily do their part to make sure that their children and the next generation grew up in a safe environment and became fine ladies and gentlemen.

Both men and women have always had their specific roles and duties, this is nothing new. The difference is that it has not always been viewed as something negative or “evil” but rather, it has always been viewed as something natural and true. After all, our very survival depends on this coexistence. It was us and them, not us against them.

It was not until the rise of Marxism and, in turn, third wave feminism that differences between groups, not only men and women, began to be highlighted in a negative and destructive ways and set against each other. These movements claim they work for “equal rights” but in reality they just want to provoke infighting between men and women. So called “Gender wars” never used to exist, at least not in the way they do presently. Men and women are far more divided today. In some cases, they even view each other as enemies instead of an opposite and equal part that can form a single unit.

Consequently, many people today have difficulties finding someone that they can trust and settle down with. Many women today feel oppressed by men and sometimes have a negative attitude towards men. Also, the fact that women nowadays are less dependent on men in terms of resource provision can leave many women overly “picky” in terms of finding a partner to settle down with. This has left many men today feeling bitter, and many find themselves struggling in the dating world. Very often, they tend to assume that “there are no good women left to settle down with”. This is, of course, not true in reality.  The issue is usually not that women are less dependent on men, as even self-providing women want a family, but rather it is the us against them attitude that stands in the way. For example, instead of viewing it as a threat or as something negative, men could instead have the mindset that self-providing women do not need to be provided for and therefore are not after a man’s money and resources. After all, most women do not care if they earn more than their man, but they do care about how the man handles it.

The fact of the matter remains, however, that the presumption that women in general have more difficulties than men is not necessarily correct. Men and women have different types of privileges and disadvantages and people can argue forever about who has it worse. But this debate takes us nowhere. What is important is the survival, renewal and progress of our people. And this can only be achieved by letting go of the petty infighting over who has what. We have to remind ourselves that we are on the same team. Instead of obsessing over our differences, we should look for our similarities. Our main goal should be to support each other and to create unity.

It is the us and them attitude, and not the us against them attitude that will give us a better view of unity and provide us with the opportunity to let go of any destructive greivances.